The Oxford Dictionary

**~Blaze~** · #1 (**permalink**) 02-03-2007, 07:43 AM

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words.

Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

**naxus** · #2 (**permalink**) 03-03-2007, 05:18 AM

haha... very funny... and very true too...

**Gcube19** · #3 (**permalink**) 05-03-2007, 12:46 AM

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
hahaha so true.

**Aeris** · #4 (**permalink**) 05-03-2007, 01:22 AM

Sadly, some of these definitions are true.

**naxus** · #5 (**permalink**) 05-03-2007, 03:27 AM

yup, some definitions are just soooo true...

**Misz.angel** · #6 (**permalink**) 05-03-2007, 04:14 AM

yeha thanks for sharing those definations some of them are really really true lol

**yens0ul** · #7 (**permalink**) 05-03-2007, 10:47 PM

LOL this is funny xD and yes true..

**kcisking** · #8 (**permalink**) 06-03-2007, 03:45 AM

my kind of dictionary...where everything is true

**chopsticks** · #9 (**permalink**) 18-03-2007, 06:20 AM

lool funny stuff u found there and yah some of these are true sadly....>_>