Compilation of jokes...

[redplanet]

sigh...no support from the community...i guess i should stop the posting of jokes...

=====hair cutting=====

The husband of a married couple wanted to get his hair cut, but he didn't want to spend any money, so he wanted his wife to cut the hair for him.

After seeing the wife cut the kids' hair, he started to have second thoughts, but he still wanted to save money.

So he decided to read the magazine while his wife cuts the hair for him, so he won't get too anxious.

But just as he turns the page of the magazine...the scariest thing happened...

The wife said: "Whoa whoa, not so fast! I haven't finished reading yet"


=====funny kid=====

A famous brain surgeon has a daughter named Mary, and whenever people ask who she is, she always replies "I'm Dr. Lee's daughter"

Mary's mom thinks this will make her look snobbish, so she told Mary:"From now on, whenever people ask who you are, just say you are Mary"

One day, the doctor's colleague saw Mary, and asked her "Aren't you Dr. Lee's daughter?"

Mary answered..."That's what I always thought...but mommy says I'm not..."

=====gas repair men=====

2 gas repair men have just finished checking the last household of the day, and one person suggested that the last person to the car has to buy the beer.

After running for a while, they noticed that there's another set of footsteps right behind them. It turns out that it was the land lady of the last household.

So they stopped and asked her if she's ok...and the land lady replied: "I don't know, you guys dashed out of my house after finished checking the gas, I thought I should run too"

=====Avalanche=====

After the avalanche, one of the people in the group fell down the cliff.

After the rest of the people settled themselves down, Michael decided to call the unfortunate person who fell down.

Michael: "Peter, are you still alive?"
Peter: "I'M STILL ALIVE"
Michael: "How are your hands and arms? are they still ok?"
Peter: "YA"
Michael: "What about your legs and feet?"
Peter: "I THINK SO"
Michael: "So do you think you can climb back up?"
Peter: "DAMN! I DON'T THINK SO, I HAVEN'T REACHED THE BOTTOM YET"

=====The Cunning Rooster=====

The farmer of a farm keeps 100 hens, but only 1 rooster for reproducing to save money. Since roosters can't lay eggs, there's no use having more.

The rooster is getting old however, so the farmer bought a new one from the market to help. The old rooster got really mad and said to the young rooster "What are you doing here? I'm still at my prime!"

The young rooster innocently replied "I...I...didn't choose to get bought..."

The old rooster then said "That's enough. How about we have a race? If you can't catch up to me, then leave and never return, but if you win, then the hens are all yours."

So the young rooster started to chase the old rooster. Then "BANG!" The farmer suddenly shot the young rooster.

Farmer: "Oh my God!! This is the 10th time I've bought gay rooster!"

[badass-es]

lol thanks for sharing, all of these are hilarious, i like the falling one the most lol

[maverick1031]

This is some funny stuff... LOL

Good Jokes never hurt, I love them all... Especially the Gay Rooster and the Hair Cut... LOL

[redplanet]

lol, thx for the support, these r pretty much jokes i read in chinese but translated in english, to share with people here. if u guys like it i'll post more in the future